Meat

Simon Scott’s Easy Breakfast burritos!

One heaped teaspoon of smoked paprika and one heaped teaspoon of cumin seeds. Dry fry the spices until the oils are released and it starts to smoke.

Stir and add a glug of walnut oil or California grown olive oil.

Add a small diced red onion (White is fine too), one red chopped chilli (more if extra heat is needed) and one clove of garlic crushed and chopped. Fry until transparent and add one teaspoon of black pepper and a small pinch of unprocessed sea salt.

Next add one large cooked potato (boiled with the skin on, a thin cut around the middle of the spud and preferably cooled) peeled and chopped.

Then add 100grams of good quality chopped chorizo (or a quality spicy Mexican sausage), a quarter of a can of stewed and chopped tomatoes (or three fresh tomatoes) and (not essential) dark chocolate with a high cacao content. Cook on a medium heat for five minutes stirring regularly and add a handful of chopped coriander.

Add two medium free range eggs, stir to cook through and then take off the heat.
Add mixture to two soft seeded or wholemeal tortilla wraps and garnish with avacado slices, grated mature cheddar, sour cream, green pepper and chilli pepper sauce.

Total cooking time is twenty minutes.

Imad’s Lamb Tagine With Prunes

1 kg lamb cut in 3 cm cubes
1 large onion, diced
30 ml olive oil
5 ml ground turmeric
5 ml ground ginger
5 ml ground cinnamon
250 ml water or broth
Pinch of Moroccan saffron
30 ml chopped cilantro or flat-leaf (Italian) parsley
125 ml sliced carrots
250 ml pitted prunes
(dates or dried apricots or a combination can also be used)
30 ml liquid honey
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
15 ml toasted sesame seeds to garnish

Combine the lamb, turmeric, ginger, and cinnamon in a plastic bag and shake or roll to coat the meat thoroughly with the spices and press them into the meat. If desired, leave to marinate for an hour or two. In a heavy Dutch oven or tagine, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Saute the onions until they begin to soften, then add the meat, and brown lightly. Add the water or broth, saffron, cilantro or parsley, and carrots. Cover and reduce heat to medium-low. Cook until the lamb is tender, about 1 to 1.5 hours.

With a slotted spoon, transfer the meat to a heat-proof dish and keep warm while you finish the sauce. Return the liquid in the Dutch oven to a simmer. Add prunes or dried fruit, honey, and salt and pepper. Cover and cook for a few minutes to plump the prunes or fruit. Remove the cover, and continue to cook until sauce thickens to desired consistency. Return the meat to the sauce, and stir to coat completely. Warm through, and correct the seasonings if necessary. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and serve immediately with warm crusty bread and a salad. Serves 4 to 6.

Maxim Bashevoy’s Food for spies

Make pancakes (not blinis, they are too thick)
Fry some minced beef
Make parcels out of pancakes and put minced beef in it with some spy stuff like poison capsule, tracking chip etc. (surprise!)
Fry parcels for a bit to seal

Serve immediately

Carl Michael von Hausswolff’s Meatballs

Minced beaf
Minced lamb
Mustard
Yellow onion
Garlic
Eggs
Black pepper
Salt
White bread crumbs

Get the ingredients, chop up the onions in small pieces and mix with the rest.

Roll small balls.
Fry.
Eat with mashed potatoes, lingon berry jam and a sauce made from the rests in the pan… just add some milk.
A nice red wine from Bourgogne would suit well.

Ian R. MacLeod’s Flying Saucer Pie

Like many good recipes, this one comes vaguely remembered from a book which is now lost. I reckon the book was probably eaten by the dog; of course, this is also always a sign of quality, as only the best recipe books get enough food splattered on them to become truly attractive to canines. The recipe itself is a cheat, in that it involves putting together a few cheapish and easily obtainable shop-bought things in such a way as to give the impression of many hours of intense labour in a hot kitchen. To my mind, this, again, is no bad thing. The name comes from my daughter’s Emily’s description of what it looks like when finished. If you try it, you’ll soon see what I mean.

500 g packet of puff pastry
500 g of minced beef (or whatever other meat or non-meat takes your fancy)
100 g (ish) packet of sage and onion stuffing mix (or, again, whatever else.)
A large glass of red wine (you can use white for lighter meats)
An egg, lightly whisked.

Thaw and roll out and then cut the puff pastry into two circles, one a little larger than the other. The younger of you will be aiming for diameter of 20 and 25 cm – the older for something like a vinyl LP. Mix the meat and the puff pasty and the wine in a bowl. The rest of the wine in the bottle can, of course, be thrown away. Place the smaller of the two pastry circles on a flat, greased baking pan. Then put that mixture, looking pretty much like an upturned bowl, centrally on the circle, leaving about 2 cm around the edge. Brush the edge with the egg mix, place the bigger pastry circle on top, use a fork to make a pretty pattern where they join, then cut a couple of slots to let the air escape from the top. Trim off any bits which offend artistic sensibilities regarding the circularness of your circle. Use the rest of the egg to glaze the pie (which should by now be looking like a flying saucer unless something has gone seriously wrong) and place in the oven for about an hour and ten mins at gas mark 5 or about 190 centigrade. Make sure it’s good and brown and well cooked and, uh, eat it, although you might like to wait about 20 mins for it to set and cool.

The pie is actually one of those rare things that works even better after a day or so left cold.

www.ianrmacleod.com

The Tapeworm’s Worm

Like most insects, worms are totally tasteless… they can be pan-fried, oven baked or whatever, but the worms MUST be absolutely purged (cleaned of intestinal matter – especially sand, which an earth worm uses to “grind” it’s food much like a chicken gizzard). But it is impossible to adequately purge a worm, so perhaps its best not to try.

The Observer published a recipe for Banana Worm Bread by Carlene Thomas-Bailey on 13th November 2010.

z’ev’s Bonistsa Grilled Sweet Goat or Lamb Dish with a Carrot Faux-pasta

Download recipe .pdf

Mika Vainio’s Woodman’s Horsemeat

(for two persons) cut 1 kilogramm of raw tender horse filet to thin slices.place on a large plate and spread sea salt,black pepper and olive oil between every layer of meat.store in a fridge overnight.serve with salad and boiled potatoes

(This was the first recipe included, and since the idea was originally his, huge thanks to Mika are due)