Vicki Bennett and Bryce Kretschmann’s Recipe for Disaster

Stuck for what to make for those dinner guests? Just clear a space, put some plastic sheeting on the floor, crank up a very long Terry Riley record and put on a nice pinny.


1 Human being
1 brightly coloured plastic cape
1 gallon of Hellmans Extra Heavy Mayonnaise
3 boxes of instant mashed potato
3 jars of Heinz onion gravy
2 tins of supermarket baked beans (not too sweet)
1 dozen asparagus
1 large cabbage
1 packet grated cheese

Garnish with sliced red onion, radish

Drink beer

Add the above to a human in accordance with your mood and their disposition.
Preferably in front of an audience.
For money.